Thursday, December 30, 2010

Enjoying some quality time together

Here's to hoping you all had a wonderful Christmas and will have a happy New Year as well.

This week has been great. Aside from cleaning the house, de-cluttering, and making it look open-house ready for people to view, Logan and I have thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Not having work until next week when school starts back up, we have spent the mornings in my bed watching cartoons with coffee and a sippy cup of milk, Logan actually sitting between my legs and relaxing (which is not much like him at all), me reading a book off of my new Kindle. After a while we rouse ourselves and get to work on the day. Someone stopped by to see our house last night, and so I spent the entire day dusting, sweeping, shoving books and magazines in strange places. I've packed away a lot of things that we don't use frequently, away in bins in the garage. Summer clothes, regular clothes that I just can't wear anymore, our entire spare bedroom which has been converted into Logan's new room with his new race care bed. Although I've been on mission to get our house in order, I don't mind. It actually gets better as more gets cleaned, more gets put away...things seem more simple as I discard things to go to the Goodwill...and there is less stuff around. The process is actually meditative and soothing.

The days here have been gray for almost 2 weeks now, it seems, but I don't mind much because it is a break from the relentless, glaring sun and huge open skies. I feel more enclosed with this cloud cover, less vulnerable. I've gotten out for jogs/walks with the BOB when the weather permits and isn't too windy. I rarely go to the gym, and when I do, I only spend about an hour or so on the bike or treadmill and doing some light weights. If anything, by going there I give Logan some time to play with other kids in the daycare. Starting next week he will be back to seeing our friends' kids a couple times a week when we trade off babysitting for each other, and then a new boy and girl at a woman's house where he will go for just one day a week while I work.

For the next few days, though, we will continue to enjoy our time off, relax in the morning with no place to go, and savor the moments together.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry X-Mas Eve...some lost thoughts about life on this day

Lately, I have been turned off by going to the gym. I just can't force myself to go into that place, always crawling with the same people. Running on a treadmill or climbing on a stairclimber to seems ridiculous to me. Even lifting seems so fake and superficial and...silly. To repetitively lift these crafted weights when we could be lifting things like our children, boxes, laundry, wheel-barrows. I don't know. Maybe I'm looking for something more...simple. I think this recent turn-off to our gym is merely a small part of what I've been feeling lately. Sometimes I'm angry and almost sad at the world we live in, hoping to simplify things and live a life where I enjoy the small, ordinary things that go on rather than always push for more. More money, more house, more activities. These things don't even seem to make people happy. They are filling some void that still remains unless we fill it with awareness and thoughtfullness.

So anyway, not quite sure how I will deal with these issues as the world around me is increasingly plagued by a fast pace that the human brain is not actually programmed to keep up with (tid-bit from a teacher-prep class this past semester). Sometimes I wish I could be raising children 20 or 30 years ago...when things were less competitive and it was okay to have, well, and ordinary day.

Have a wonderful X-Mas and I hope that every one is grateful for what they have.

Monday, December 13, 2010

4 months of silence, but I'm breaking it!

I got through it. The semester has come to an end, I received A's in my classes, and I feel truly accomplished. However, through recent developments, it turns out that I will not be able to finish this program here in NM. It looks like we are planning to move back to NE in the near future (meaning, before I will be able to finish the program), and that I would have to teach under the license for 3 years here before being able to transfer it to Mass. or NH. So, needless to say, things won't work out here. I was bummed at first, yet, I think these are all signs that we are supposed to go live in NE. Various things have been going on, and I think it's time for us to end our stay in NM. I have put the house on the market, and we will try to get it sold before we leave, but if not, we have a free place to stay back in NE until it DOES sell (with family). Oh, and did I mention that I am 4 months pregnant? Yeah, there's another singer! I found out right after starting classes, and being plagued by excessive fatigue, managed to get through my studies and classes dealings with home life and work. Amazing, the things you can do when you put your mind to it. But I am glad it's all over, because now I can focus on my family, being home at night with them, and being pregnant. As for continuing my education, I will probably enter a Masters program once we get back to NE, as that is something that I can take with me everywhere.

As for fitness related things, the first three months of this pregnancy kept me down and out, and I did minimal exercise. I have been sticking to walking/jogging, stretching, minimal weights, and some yoga at home. Oddly, I have not gained as much weight as I did the last time. Having an active 17 month old attributes to that. Time for me to snarfle down some lunch, now.


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